From:  Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 07:53:49
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the helpdesk trembles
here comes the terminator
resolving the calls
**===========================**
Is it resolved now?
Looking at it from this seat
I couldn't care less
**===========================**
they are customers
And therefore the response is
just shut the fuck up
**===========================**
so you're unhappy
well I have the big button
and will close this call
**===========================**
You say it's urgent?
Fine, it's priority 1
talk to you next year
**===========================**
You want solutions?
Not now, not later, never
You've paid already
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From: muso
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On: 2007/10/25 08:07:05
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You could try this fix
Switch it off and on again
Then change the user
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From: muso
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On: 2007/10/25 08:10:28
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Take a moment and
Read the fucking manual
Have a nice day Sir
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:34:42
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I closed seven calls
but I am not too happy
eight new ones appeared
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:37:30
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and when I fix stuff
nobody seems to notice
is it half five yet?
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:39:28
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just like customers
anything I do gives me
no satisfaction
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:41:13
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surely there must be
one satisfied customer
go on, make my day
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:43:06
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you haven't got time
to check what you have entered
so I must waste mine
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:48:07
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You think it's broken
but I'm trying to tell you
it must be plugged in
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From: JOK
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On: 2007/10/25 08:48:50
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try rebooting it
go and try rebooting it
or reinstall it
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:49:46
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Both can speed up things
but computers and coffee
don't mix very well
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:51:48
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the next time please do
rather than shouting at me
try switching it on
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:54:17
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Now please take the mouse
don't jump on to the table
it's not a real one
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:56:23
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Forgotten password?
And you're asking me to help?
Try this one: "moron"
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 08:59:56
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No I cannot see
what is on your monitor
this is a phone call
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:02:33
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your screen stopped working?
Could the smoking computer
be a clue perhaps?
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:04:36
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You hate our software?
Well, I'm sure that the feeling
is quite mutual
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:06:09
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You hate our software?
Why don't you come over and
try writing this shit
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:08:22
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You say it crashes
but it works on my machine
so it's your problem
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:12:43
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Being on helpdesk
both customers and coders
hate you equally
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:14:41
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I do love this job
even doing my utmost
I piss people off
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:17:51
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I'm a code monkey
And to prove this I'll show you
the peanuts I'm paid
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:24:35
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ev'ryone's confused
business as usual, so
in this here madhouse
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:25:56
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the working day ends
freedom, such a sweet release
shut down, I'm going
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/25 09:29:59
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The postman, perhaps
does not normally ring twice
but customers do
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From: stone5150
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On: 2007/10/25 10:55:24
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We do not hate you
We just hate the way you act
Learn to read, then bitch
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From: mac
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On: 2007/10/25 20:07:16
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An error occurred
You must restart your Windows
Or try an Apple
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 02:03:37
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You're trying to run
our magnificent software
on THAT piece of junk?
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 02:05:50
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if you had a brain
instead of a computer
you'd be dangerous
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 02:31:05
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Still having problems?
May I suggest that you try
a lobotomy
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 02:35:07
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why are you shouting?
Do you think it would make me
work any faster?
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 02:39:50
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Why should I bother?
I slave, I grind, fix problems
you're still not happy
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From: Huntress
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On: 2007/10/26 03:18:20
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Your computer crashed?
The viruses are many.
FDISK and format.
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 04:05:02
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what? what? what's that now?
Oh. The bloody phone again
trying to sleep here
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From: muso
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On: 2007/10/26 04:08:07
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"Connection is slow?"
(Better end this session of
Pwning noobs in Quake)
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From: Hooligan
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On: 2007/10/26 04:37:57
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When we said,
100% Vista Compatible,
we overestimated
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 04:39:30
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It's compatible
with all versions of Vista
except for your one
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 04:43:09
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your call has been queued
you expect a solution
we expect patience
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From: Hooligan
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On: 2007/10/26 04:58:30
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Call duration
is limited to 20 minutes.
goodbye
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/26 05:00:26
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Dude, you need to know
Haikus go 5-7-5
careful syllables
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From: JOK
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On: 2007/10/26 13:19:19
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In USSR
The Haikus syllable
You 2 3 4 5
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From: stone5150
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On: 2007/10/26 13:33:22
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In Mother Russia
You do not write the haikus
The huikus write you
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/27 02:21:35
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pn8zZEleyg
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:35:16
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The blue screen of death
can be cured with this short fix:
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:37:06
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I understand, sir.
Spellcheckers are often RONG.
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:38:52
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There's a funny sound
from the back of your machine?
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:40:28
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To switch away from
the U.S. keyboard layout,
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:42:04
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The sure-fire way to
clear the browser history:
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:45:15
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Alas! This game has
a multi-threaded deadlock.
FDISK and format
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/29 01:46:11
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Like I give a shit
about your fucking problems
FDISK and format
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From: JOK
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On: 2007/10/29 02:40:29
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There once was a haiku from Nantucket
Whose's meter was wrong, so it said fuckit
I'll say what I want
Like "Emanuel Kant"
And you can just go and suck it.
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/29 02:46:11
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:-)
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From: Hooligan
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On: 2007/10/30 06:08:05
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FDISK & format fails
they you nedd to try this
FDISK & format
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 06:31:04
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Alas the spell check
can only fix your typos
not help you think straight
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 06:37:14
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being sarcastic
is not an effective way
to achieve results
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 06:43:47
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Program crashed again
You storm out of your office
Outside, the sun shines
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 06:46:45
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One click of the mouse
and your problems disappear
right off my desktop
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 09:29:14
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please do not thank me
be grateful, hang up the phone
never phone again
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From: muso
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On: 2007/10/30 09:42:11
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I will gladly help!
Yes boss, anything you ask!
Bye! <click> F***ing c***.
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:13:19
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Picturing your stress
Holding hand over mouthpiece
I laugh heartily
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:15:59
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CDs do not fit
into your floppy disk drive
even when you push
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:18:14
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yes it's a floppy
but that doesn't imply that
it can be folded
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:20:15
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Please remove earphones
this is for your own safety
I'm about to scream
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:21:22
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this situation
is resolved by applying
mindless violence
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:23:10
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I do hope that bang
was the sound of you kindly
blowing your brains out
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From: Pino Carafa
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On: 2007/10/30 10:24:35
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I'm oh so sorry
this is not to your liking
(inside, I'm screaming)
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From: stone5150
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On: 2007/10/30 10:54:13
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Not having email
Is not a catastrophe
It is quiet time
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/31 01:51:17
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Your mouse is faulty?
Place it near a potted plant,
leave it overnight.
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/31 01:52:44
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A blue screen of death?
Get out of the house RIGHT NOW!
RUN, YOU FOOL! RUN! RUN!
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From: Baldrick
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On: 2007/10/31 01:54:21
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Interesting result:
My average call time is
at a record low.
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From: hes
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On: 2007/11/05 09:51:29
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You think it is broken
I don't
My opinion is the only one that counts
Case Closed
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